Week 6 Frustration and Snickers

Two years ago I went to summer camp. We went to go cliff jumping, and I remember it took me like 20 minutes to jump from the 12 foot cliff. I didn’t even think it was that fun. When I came out I decided that I would go up and look from the 25 foot cliff. I wasn’t even up there for 15 seconds and the next thing I knew I was running and jumping off the cliff (I didn’t know you were suppose to keep your arms to your sides, or that you can’t breath in while you are jumping).

This has been my week. I don’t know remember what gave me the idea, but I do remember I had no intentions of staying longer. I walked into the office a week from today, and asked about teaching an art class in the school, and all of a sudden I was going to stay until Christmas and teach an art class in the school. Although it was so easy to get the green light, this has been a very, very frustrating last few days.

Don’t you wonder when you are doing what you thought might have been what God wanted you to do, and it just doesn’t seem to work out, and so many problematic things occur, that maybe it isn’t really God’s will for you? Or on the other hand, is it Satan trying to get you to get down and not do what God wants?

So school started Monday, and the administrator still was too busy to talk to me. Although I did find out Monday that the classes I would be teaching wouldn’t start until next Monday. Things still aren’t set in stone, other than that I will be teaching. I have no idea how much, what days, what grades, or even if it will just be art. It is hard not knowing, and very hard not speaking much Spanish.

The snickers. So my roommate and I made Snicker cookies. We got about 60 mini Snickers, melted them in a pan with milk peanut butter and oatmeal and then froze them. We ate them all that day. So for some reason I just could not stop thinking about the Snicker cookies, so the next day I went and got 60 more Snickers and made the cookies again. I ate pretty much all of them by myself. I still can’t stop thinking about them, and it has been two days without them, although we decided to try making Milkyway/3 Musketeers cookies tomorrow. I have gained 15 pounds in the last 2 weeks. Haha. Although most of it was just gaining back what I lost in the 2 and a half weeks of being sick.

Back to the school (although my mind is still on Snicker cookies), everyone has basically been like, “What are you getting yourself into, the kids are crazy.” I have heard that from so many different people, although it hasn’t discouraged me to do this. The kids apparently do not behave well at all, and are very difficult. This is partly do to the fact that they all have had some kind of tragic thing happen to them, from their parent’s dying, to their mother deserting them and throwing them in a garbage can. I need to come up with my own curriculum, for grades 1st -6th , (although another loophole has occurred, another lady might be teaching the two older grades, which would stink cause that’s what I wanted to teach the most by far) and somehow I will teach them through the language barrier. The hardest thing is when they are disrespectful I will not know what they will be saying, and how they should be punished, along with how to tell them how I am punishing them.

Just pray for me. I still am uncertain if this is God’s will. I pray that if it is, that he will bless me in it, and give me the strength to go through with it, along with working long hours in the Cuna. Which was horrible last night doing the night shift because it is just creepy at night, and the power went out for an hour…and the babies were screaming, I was scared, and couldn’t see anything. But yeah, I have had a few weird creepy things happen in there.